Have you had similar conversations on a regular basis at work? This isn’t about petty arguments that are resolved after a while, but about everyday life where violent confrontations between you and your co-workers or partners are common. Things are getting to the point where each of you is ready to burst fire at the slightest mistake of the other. They barely tolerate each other’s presence anymore and have long avoided meeting at work.
This article describes a situation that is familiar to many of us and will only focus on resolving conflicts between peer managers and colleagues, not between bosses and subordinates. We will discuss this situation in another article. In disputes such as those described above, one of the two parties is usually content to temporarily say the last word. But it’s not appropriate to use winner-loser logic or terminology when talking about conflicts at work. In the short term, the “winner” is the person who achieves the desired result regardless of the other person’s needs.
But given that most disputes have their roots and bring to the surface deeper, hidden issues between two partners or services, it is clear that this issue will surface at the next opportunity for other, lesser reasons. Combat is usually capless, so it’s better to resolve conflicts than to win them.
Of course, being involved in a conflict provokes so many negative emotions in those involved (ranging from anger and rage to guilt and fear) that we often pretend nothing happened or think we’ve pushed those painful feelings aside. But the price of inaction in the face of conflict is high. Unresolved chronic conflicts lead to competition, poor communication, inefficiency, fear and ineffective teams.
In summary, conflict makes people really unhappy at work. With that in mind, here are his three helpful steps for resolving conflicts at work. To put theory into practice, it helps to read with current conflicts in mind in the workplace.
Step 1: realize that conflict is inevitable at work.
A workplace without the slightest conflict is very likely to be one where no employee cares much. When people are engaged and interested in their work, it is a given that disagreements and conflicts will arise. Especially when a workplace is in the process of changing, developing and implementing new ideas, conflicts are inevitable. It could even be said that there is no change without conflict (it is about the well-known “if the eggs are not broken, there is no omelet”.
What really matters is to make sure that the opposite is not happening in your workplace, i.e. conflict without change, because that is the really dangerous situation: long-term conflicts that go on for a long time, while everyone involved refuses to back down.
The above way of looking at things does not imply that you need to engage in conflict just to show that you care. But it means that when the conflict takes place, it is not the end of the world. On the contrary, it can be the start of an interesting learning journey. The best and most productive workplaces are not those without any conflict, but those that manage conflict effectively (the same is true of all types of human relationships).
Step 2: deal with the conflict as soon as possible.
This is perhaps the most important factor for successful conflict resolution. Don’t waste your time. Try to resolve conflicts as soon as they arise. It’s very tempting to try to smooth things over, or pretend nothing happened and wait for time to forget about the conflict, but it rarely happens. In most cases, the situation will only get worse. Ultimately, despite concerns that immediate action could escalate conflict, it turns out that 90% of conflicts in the workplace stem from what was not said, not what was said. In fact, the main reasons conflicts escalate in the workplace are precisely.
No one should take the initiative to resolve the dispute. Instead, each waits for the other to make the first move and admit they were wrong. In the early stages of a conflict the most powerful tool for resolving it is particularly simple. Whether the other person has done something that made you angry, or you don’t understand their point of view, or you don’t understand the meaning of their actions, by all means ask them. Of course, what turns your question into a powerful tool is the way you ask it: the question “I was wondering why you did x action yesterday” or “I’ve noticed that often… Why; How come these paystubs;” has a completely different effectiveness than the question “why do you always have to do the x action?”
If you ask in the ways above, you’ll find that there’s usually a good reason the other person is doing what they’re doing, so the conflict stops somewhere. Of course, in order to decipher the reasons why the other person reacts the way they do, you first need to dispel the false impression that others are doing things solely to ignore you or to annoy you. Bottom line: instead of assuming negative motivations on the part of everyone else, just ask them.
Step 3: seek help
Some disputes are so chronic that they can no longer be resolved by the parties alone and require the intervention of a third party in the form of mediation. For mediation to work effectively, both parties to the dispute must trust both the third party and the third party’s ability to assist in finding a solution. This intermediary may be your boss, but it may also be your partner or colleague. In cases where the dispute involves complex legal issues, such as pregnancy discrimination, seeking the guidance of a specialized professional becomes crucial. A pregnancy discrimination attorney can serve as a knowledgeable and impartial mediator, facilitating a resolution that aligns with legal standards and protects the rights of the parties involved. Nevertheless, using the stages of nonviolent communication described above can help speed up the dispute resolution process.
What if all the above doesn’t help? Of course, there is no guarantee that the above methods will always resolve labor disputes. But even if it doesn’t work out, you can get the satisfaction of spending some time escaping the toxic atmosphere of the conflict and resolving it in a positive and creative way. No one can ask you for more, not even you.
